Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Found your dick twin last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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