turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
