i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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