It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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