I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Green mimosas i think yes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
