do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
