I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
They took my balls.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
