sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
