I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
