let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
