what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
