It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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