8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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