so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He kissed a someone with a penis
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
