Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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