I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
