Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
