I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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