you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
