I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
