It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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