There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
