i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
