It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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