someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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