forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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