We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When are your genitals available?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
