Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
