like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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