so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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