love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
