I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
worst night to have a conscience
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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