the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
