If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
