went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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