I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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