he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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