so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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