Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Randomize
