hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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