i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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