Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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