he told me I talked like a deaf person
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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