eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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