atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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