Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
