If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
