and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
