Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
