I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
