Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
