I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
