i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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