i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
