Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i will never coherently bang her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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