to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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