I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like death gave me a hand job
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
